Emotional Development

What are emotions?

A common explanation of emotions is that they are energy in motion. They are variably called feelings and psychological or physiological states. The neuroscientist Candace Pert explains that emotions are electrochemical signals, made up of peptides, that carry messages throughout the body. They have the power to change the chemistry of every cell in our bodies.

Ian Morris explains that emotions are made of 4 constituent parts:

• the cognitive element – the thought, belief or judgement

• the desire

• the affect – the way that the emotion feels in the body

• the behaviour – what we do as a result of our thoughts, desires and affects. 

He states that the primary emotion is fear. Fear “is the pre-programmed, innate emotional system that saves our lives when we step out in front of a bus and find ourselves on the pavement seconds later, mysteriously un-squished, with not much idea how we did it.” Fear is largely governed by a part of the brain called the amygdala, which has been present in our brain structures since our earliest evolutionary stages when we evolved from reptiles; hence why the amygdala is considered a part of the ‘reptilian’ brain. The amygdala is a bit like an intruder alarm that responds automatically to external stimuli that could be a threat, sometimes even without our conscious awareness. 

The other emotions are what Morris calls our “secondary emotions”, however it’s fear that so often sets off the “fight or flight” response of our nervous system that can hamper many things, but especially, our ability to learn. It’s the skill of learning to recognise, feel and be conscious of our emotions, that allows for true well-being. Read on to find out how we try to achieve this at Wildwood Nature School.

Emotional intelligence

In 1995, pioneering psychologist Daniel Goleman published his seminal work, Emotional Intelligence. It proved revolutionary and is still such an important concept in the world of psychology and education. He argued that the narrow definition of intelligence, as defined by conventional schooling and tests such as the IQ test created by Alfred Binet, is not the only factor in determining a person’s success. In fact, it’s emotional intelligence that really determines the course of our lives and our well-being

Goleman defined 5 domains of emotional intelligence: 

• Knowing one’s emotions or self-awareness – recognising a feeling as it happens

• Managing emotions

• Motivating oneself

• Recognising emotions in others

• Handling relationships

He explains how many people who have scored highly on IQ tests, struggle both in school and in life, because they haven’t been able to master these 5 domains of emotional intelligence. He states that emotional intelligence is a “meta-ability” that determines how well we can use all of our other abilities.

Emotional intelligence is so important to learning because “Students who are anxious, angry, or depressed don’t learn; people who are caught in these states do not take in information efficiently or deal with it well”. He describes how neural circuits become swamped when emotions run rampant and inhibit the ability of the regions of the brain that allow learning to take place. 

Forest School and emotions

There are numerous reasons why Forest School creates an entirely different emotional atmosphere that contributes both to emotional development and learning, and therefore why Forest School is so important at Wildwood Nature School. These include:

• The focus on building a community of being creates a safe space where participants can feel and express their emotions. Renowned developmental psychologist Gordon Neufeld says, “Emotions have work to do but they can’t do it if the feelings aren’t felt. All development is spontaneous if conditions are correct, i.e. if it’s safe to feel”.

• Being in nature creates an innate sense of calm, one that is rarely found in the confines of a conventional classroom.

• Forest School allows for a more embodied experience which is essential to emotional expression. Goleman explains that, “The very root of the word emotion is motere, the Latin verb ‘to move’, plus the prefix ‘e-‘ to connote ‘move away’, suggesting that a tendency to act is implicit in every emotion.” Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost trauma researchers, follows this idea right back to our earliest evolution, explaining that for Charles Darwin, the most “fundamental purpose of emotions is to initiate movement that will restore the organism to safety and physical equilibrium”. When intense emotions arise during a Forest School session, there are options for movement, whether that’s running, hitting a stick on the ground, moving away to a quiet place; options that aren’t available inside. Additionally, there is a growing body of work which describes how bodily movements (e.g. shaking) are required to release the trauma which we all carry in our bodies (see Peter Levine’s incredible work on Somatic Experiencing ). Read more about trauma here.

• Goleman  also explains how important play is in terms of emotional healing. Children often re-enact traumatic events over and over again, allowing them to process the emotions in a safe space and sometimes play out a different outcome. Forest School offers space and time dedicated to free play. Read more about play here.

Self-awareness

Goleman describes self-awareness as the keystone to emotional intelligence. But what is it and how can we foster its development? Bessel der Kolk explains that there are 2 kinds of self-awareness: a present moment self-awareness that is based primarily in physical sensations and one that keeps track of the self across time, a sort of autobiographical self that is rooted in language and narrative. 

Children are born as emotional beings who feel everything in their bodies. Institutions such as school train this natural connection out of them. At Wildwood Nature School, we want our children to maintain their natural mind-body connection. This can also be taught more explicitly by encouraging children to notice where in their bodies they feel sensation when emotions emerge. Because of the nature of Forest School – the freedom from rigid structure, the deeper relationships between learner and leader, and a commitment to emotional development – there is space for such attention to be paid to emotions as they arise, supporting this present-moment self-awareness. 

The other kind of self-awareness needs input in the form of the language needed to describe emotions. Brené Brown’s latest book, Atlas of the Heart, is about precisely this – she defines 87 emotions and human experiences. “Language is our portal to meaning-making, connection, healing, learning and self-awareness”. We have to give children the language and vocabulary they need to match what they’re feeling with words. Learning to label emotions is essential not only to allow them to be understood and move through us, but to be able to share our experiences with others, be supported and heal. Through our well-being curriculum, we explicitly teach about a wide range of emotions through storytelling, reflections, role play and imaginative play. Children also have more opportunity to freely experience the wide variety of emotions that exist than in a conventional school setting.

Recognising emotions in others

Another of the 5 domains of emotional intelligence as described by Goleman is recognising emotions in others, an aspect of empathy. Brené Brown defines empathy as “an emotional skill set that allows us to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding”. This can only come after developing self-awareness. Brown explains that a large part of empathy is the cognitive ability to “reach back into our own experience with [the emotion] so we can understand and connect”. This is different to affective empathy which is feeling with the other person. This can be incredibly emotionally draining and isn’t always helpful for the other person. 

During our outdoor learning at Wildwood Nature School, there are more opportunities for risk-taking that might engender fear and excitement, intimate sharing in reflections that might foster vulnerability and love, learning new skills that might cause frustration and pride. An expanded range of experiences means that learners have more emotional depth to mine when in a situation that requires their empathy. An ability to empathise and understand another’s perspective is also crucial to making relationships and handling the difficulties that might come with them e.g. conflict resolution.

Fostering empathy is a vital skill for our children to learn if they’re to build healthy relationships with their peers. It’s also essential for all of us to receive empathy, as this helps us to feel secure. Alice Sheldon, the creator of Needs Understanding, says, “When we humans don’t feel heard, we can get panicky and desperate, but when we feel secure in someone’s empathy we find it easier to approach a problem with spaciousness and creativity.”

Emotions, motivation and learning

One of the world’s leading neuroscientists, Dan Siegel, the creator of the field of interpersonal neurobiology, explains how the different parts of the brain relate to emotions and learning. They define the ‘downstairs brain’ (which includes the amygdala as described above) and the ‘upstairs brain’:

“The downstairs brain includes the brain stem and the limbic region, which are located in the lower parts of the brain, from the top of your neck to about the bridge of your nose…they are responsible for basic functions (like breathing and blinking), for innate reactions and impulses (like fight and flight), and for strong emotions (like anger and fear).” 

The “upstairs brain…[is] made up of the cerebral cortex and its various parts…directly behind your forehead…[it’s] more evolved and can give you a fuller perspective on your world…This is where more intricate mental processes take place, like thinking, imagining, and planning…[It’s responsible for]: sound decision making and planning, control over emotions and body, self-understanding, empathy, morality.”

Taken from The Whole-Brain Child by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

For true learning to take place, the upstairs brain needs to be switched on. But intense emotions can mean the downstairs brain takes over, and this can greatly impact on learning, if not prevent any learning from taking place at all. The benefits of learning how to recognise emotions as they arise is that children are more empowered to do what they need to express their emotions in healthy ways and to allow the emotion to pass through, rather than remain stuck. This then allows them to switch on their upstairs brain so that they’re ready to learn. As Gabor Maté explains, “our prevailing educational ideologies miss the boat, since cognitive skills in fact depend on firm emotional architecture, of which play is an indispensable builder.”

At Wildwood Nature School, we also encourage learner-centred processes which allow for intrinsic motivation - an important component of emotional intelligence. When learners can choose what they’re learning and doing, they’ll naturally be more motivated and engaged. Goleman quotes Howard Gardner (a developmental psychologist who came up with the theory of Multiple Intelligences) to explain this state, known as flow: 

“Flow is an internal state that signifies a kid is engaged in a task that’s right. You have to find something you like and stick to it. It’s when kids get bored in school that they fight and act up, and when they’re overwhelmed by a challenge that they get anxious about their schoolwork. But you learn at your best when you have something you care about and you can get pleasure from being engaged in.” 

Building and handling relationships

A huge part of what we do at Wildwood Nature School is build relationships and community. Emotional intelligence is a vital factor in this. The ability to be self-aware, to empathise and to communicate are essential for healthy relationships. Our emotional curriculum teaches these skills. We teach our children to communicate using Giraffe language (Nonviolent Communication) - a form of compassionate communication and conflict resolution. Read more about how we use Nonviolent Communication here.

Building community is absolutely essential to Wildwood Nature School and is 1 of the 6 Forest School principles that we follow (see here). An understanding of how emotions underpin that guides how we as adults work to build community. Alfie Kohn describes in his groundbreaking book, Beyond Discipline, how important safety is in community-building endeavours. He explains that safety within community is achieved through the following:

• Relationship with adults – children are more likely to be respectful when important adults in their lives respect them. They are more likely to care about others if they know they are cared about. If their emotional needs are met, they have the luxury of being able to meet other people’s needs – rather than spending their lives preoccupied with themselves.

To be a person in front of kids is to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is not an easy posture for adults who themselves had to strike a self-protective pose when they were growing up. Moreover, to reach out to children and develop genuine, warm relationships with them may compromise one’s ability to control them, which is why it can be so much harder to do this when following conventional methods of managing behaviour (see our Behaviour Policy to find out how we do things differently at Wildwood Nature School).

• Connections between children – A community rests on the knowledge of, and connections among, the individuals who are part of it. What psychologists call ‘perspective taking’ plays a critical role in helping children become generous, caring people, and activities designed to promote an understanding of how others think and feel have the added advantage of creating the basis for community.
  

• School-wide activities – At Wildwood Nature School, we hold regular phase and school meetings. These can be particularly effective at helping students experience themselves as part of a community.
  
  Examples of some of the themes and questions that are addressed in our meetings are:
  What if, some time this year, you found yourself acting in a way you weren’t proud of? Suppose you hurt someone’s feelings, or did something even worse. How would you want us, the rest of the community, to help you then? What if someone else acted that way? How could we help that person?
  
  Actions that would normally be defined as misbehaviour – and therefore as requiring discipline – are reconstrued as signs that somebody needs help. And we’re building a community that looks for ways to support each other when someone needs help, rather than punish or exclude them.

Managing emotions

Managing emotions relies heavily upon the other elements of emotional intelligence: it requires self awareness, the ability to recognise how our own actions can affect emotions in others, and it requires strong relationships and a community that supports us. As Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson explain, “in high-emotion situations…We want [children] to pause before acting, to consider consequences, to think about the feelings of others, to make ethical and moral judgements.” This can be a really hard thing for young children to do and needs a lot of practice and support. At Wildwood Nature School, we’re training children to take control of their emotions and bodies, not so they can suppress or deny them, but so that they can have a healthy relationship with them and use them to support their relationship to themselves, others and their learning.

Understanding how the brain works in terms of emotions can be helpful, and informs how the staff at Wildwood Nature School respond to children in high-emotion situations. There are 2 hemispheres of the brain: left and right. Siegel and Bryson explain the differences between them:

The left brain is “logical, literal, linguistic…and linear”, it loves order, and it’s all about “the letter of the law.”

The right brain is “holistic and nonverbal, sending and receiving signals that allow us to communicate, such as facial expressions, eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures. Instead of details and order, our right brain cares about the big picture – the meaning and feel of an experience – and specialises in images, emotions, and personal memories…the right brain is emotional, nonverbal, experiential, and autobiographical…cares about the spirit of the law.” 

They explain that “when a child is upset, logic often won’t work until we have responded to the right brain’s emotional needs.” This process is called attunement and it’s what attentive parents do with their children and what the staff at Wildwood Nature School always aim to do. Part of attunement involves co-regulating alongside a child; co-regulation can be reflecting back in either words or body posture how a child might be feeling and then supportively modelling techniques (e.g. deep breathing, movement) that help them to express their emotions and recover from the intensity of the emotions. 

Young children’s emotions can be big and messy and we want them to be able to really feel all of their emotions. But the physiological effects of an emotion only last 90 seconds, and often children (and adults) stay stuck in their emotions for much, much longer. For young children, this can be if they can’t get their needs met, or their bodies need to move to process the emotions. For adults, it’s these reasons plus the continuous mental rumination that can cause us to stay stuck in our emotions. Careful attunement, meeting needs, and ongoing education about emotions support our children to learn how to feel their emotions in the moment without being overtaken by them for too long.

Managing emotions is part of a skillset called executive function, that comes from the upstairs brain (see above). Ian Morris explains that, “Executive function (EF) is the ability to regulate behaviour, emotions, thoughts, feelings and desires in any given situation, and, by doing this, it helps to keep our short- and long-term goals in mind and overcome internal conflicts… EF skills are based upon a positive self-concept (i.e. an image of the self which is positive), good self-esteem and good social and emotional skills.” The government has recognised the importance of EF skills, not only for learning, but for overall well-being for quite some time:

“Good EF skills are important for personal development, wellbeing and achievement in the workplace, as well as for academic success. Fostering EF skills in early childhood will create learners with better coping and resilience skills…stronger EF skills should also promote a flexible approach to learning.” (The Government Office for Science, Foresight Report into Mental Capital and Well-being, 2008: p118) .

A fundamental part of our mission at Wildwood Nature School is that our children learn to master the 5 domains of emotional intelligence so that they can thrive in all areas of their lives.

References

Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. London: Penguin Random House.

der Kolk, V. B., MD. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.

Goleman, D. (1995) Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. London: Bloomsbury Publishing.

Kohn, A. (2006) Beyond Discipline: From compliance to community. 2nd Ed. Alexandria: ASCD.

Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Maté, G. with Maté, D. (2022) The Myth of Normal: Trauma, illness and healing in a toxic culture. London: Vermilion. 

Morris, I. (2015) Teaching Happiness and Well-being in Schools: Learning to ride elephants.

London: Bloomsbury Education.

Neufeld, G. (2021) ‘Child-rearing that does not traumatise’ talk https://wisdomoftrauma.com/hub/ [accessed 12/10/21]

Pert, C. (1999) Molecules of emotion. London: Pocket Books.

Sheldon, A. (2021) Why weren’t we taught THIS at school? Great Britain: Practical Inspiration Publishing.

Siegel, D. J. & Bryson, T. P. (2012) The Whole-Brain Child: 12 proven strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. London: Robinson

The Government Office for Science (2008) Foresight Report into Mental Capital and Well-being https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/292453/mental-capital-wellbeing-summary.pdf [accessed 20.02.23]